I miss the times badly really, crazily.

I miss chatting with till late night. I miss webcam-ing with you. I miss talking to you till we went really crazy. Do you know I'm talking about you, yes you? I totally sank down when I saw your blog and I saw the msn message you send me. I'm not being what, but does it like, refer to me? If it dosen't, still I miss chatting with you alot.

Our smeses seems shorter and shorter, from good friends till super casual friend. Everytime I think about of you(suddenly kind), I remember the times we chat, we "sang" that song. Though we known each other through water bomb, still somehow, sometimes, I really regretted on asking one question. I really blame myself for asking that dumb question till now. It totally broke everything, every friendship, every laughter, every cherish things we did together(as a friend). It totally broke our friendship off. I really want to talk to you like better then before. But can we even start talking normally? I don't know. I'm so afraid of talking to you again, so afraid of hurting you more and more. But, I really want it all back. I wish time would repeat itself, and I wouldn't ask you that question. I..I don't know what has gotten into me, but I finally couldn't take it, and wrote it in here.

I miss you alot.

I can't stop the feeling that something is missing, I feel like I have it all. Thought there is aching in my heart. People says follow your heart, When your heart is saying go for it. Do it. When your head is saying no. That's when you find it so hard. It's so much worst when your head and heart agree. Mind both, Want Both. But that extra person, is that's what's missing? It is possilbe to do the opposite, to both your head and heart? To stop feeling things about people who bring you such joy? It is?
You can miss someone that never been's there or someone that is five feet away. You can miss someone that dosen't care, or someone whom you'll never bother to say. But the feeling itself stays the same. That no one dares to say the name. The feeling that no one wants to claim.
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And at the end, I'm contridicting myself. I thought I could let go, but the fact is I can't. I thought everything was falling in place, when everything was something I just skip across hoping I'll not face it again and not facing reality. When I thought I didn't love, when actually I did, alot. When I knew I finally love somone is when I need to face up to my problem.
Why.


Heard this song from shawn's blog.